Definitions

Things that I am constantly need more of:

• Home. A sense of love and belonging. A feeling of security and comfort.
• Friends. People who stick by me, respect me, trust me, laugh with me. People who push me to grow.
• Fun. Making memories, laughing til I can’t breathe, being silly, being surrounded by people.
• Support and encouragement. Reassurance.

Things that can describe the ugliness of my heart:

• Selfish. Wanting the best, wanting control, wanting what I think is best for me.
• Jealous. A pit of doom; I can get stuck in it and not know my way out.
• Proud. Not humbling myself, refusing to treat others as equal.

Please pray for me.

curling up in bed with a book on a rainy day

• Moments of pure joy. Forgetting the world and loving life while being absolutely silly and not caring who’s watching
• Mama. While my finger bled for hours on end, she sat with me and waited til I was ready for help.
• Prayers. When life is crazy, pray. When people feel crazy, pray with them and for them. I can never express how thankful I am for friends that care enough to do this for me. It is one thing to take care of me, it is a whole other level to pray for me.
• Tuesday’s football game. It was full of so much life and for the first time in a while, I didn’t shut down and run in a daze around the field. It is a team sport and I am playing for fun; I am relearning how to keep both in mind.
• Work. My coworkers and I have shared laughter and many long days turned nights recently. For a while I shut down at work too, but am slowly coming back to life.
• Fresh fruits and ice cream.
• Conscious decisions to turn my life around.
• Great danceable pop music slash workout music.
• The reminders and check-ins. The reassurance. The love and consideration.
• Open communication and honesty. There is no better feeling than getting things out in the open instead of bottling it up inside.