Archive | Uncategorized RSS feed for this section

Creativity is

20 Apr

Learning by inventing, not by discovering.


4 Jan

Foods I cooked for the first time

  • Breakfast: yeasted waffles
  • Appetizers + soups: arancini, bruschetta*, gazpacho, split pea soup
  • Meats: beef and broccoli, beef and guinness pie*, chicken w brown sauce, chicken empanadas, inside-out pupusas, meatballs*, pot roast, pulled chicken, whole chicken, wings
  • Seafoods: crab cakes, fish tacos, salmon cakes, scallops
  • Veggies: fried okra, spinach w pine nuts, squash dumplings*, stuffed mushrooms
  • Sides, sauces and extras: carbonara sauce, cranberry sauce*, dumplings (chicken and dumplings), latkes, pepitas*, polenta cakes, tortillas
  • Desserts + baked goods: apple tart, baklava*, blueberry pie, bread pudding, brioche buns*, clementine-chocolate chip buttermilk scone*, maple cookies, pumpkin pie

Places I visited

  • San Francisco bay area: 5
  • Napa Valley: 3
  • New York City: 2
  • Las Vegas: 1

Michelin-starred restaurants I tried

  • Gary Danko
  • Fleur de Lys
  • Boulevard
  • La Toque

Notable ailments I experienced

  • Concussion: 1.5
  • Pink eye: 2
  • Stress fracture: 1
  • Fractured pinky: 1
  • Ever-bleeding finger: 1

Lessons learned

  • I need to love with more than my heart knows how, so that regrets and excuses are not an option.
  • Blood relatives will always love me
  • My best friends may share meals, emails or adventures with me, or we may rarely talk at all, but they will never ever desert me.
  • Health is fragile, not something that I can earn or buy. I need to listen to my body.
  • Training and persistence pays off. I can now swim breathing every nine strokes (versus every three strokes) and run a nine-minute mile (versus a ten-minute mile).
  • It’s okay to spend money to have fun. In the end, money always works out.
  • I can create amazing design work if I put my mind to it. Winning three design awards for one project is proof enough.
  • Everyone has things that can hold them back in life. It’s not always obvious, but when it’s made known, it’s good to help them tackle it head on.


12 Sep

Part 1: Struggles

And here’s an impressive nugget that bowled me over today when it occurred to me: You can’t “fall from grace.” Just into it. That’s the point–it is freely given, unmerited. The idiom is a myth; grace doesn’t get taken away when you mess up. That’s what makes it amazing (!). — Cricket

I love finding gems like this on Cricket’s blog. Her post, although in two parts, fit very well with what I’m struggling with lately. Grace is something that I constantly seek because I often feel like I’ve screwed up or been a jerk. It feels like heartbreak each time I realize that I’ve been wrong. And yet I keep making mistakes.

Part 2: I refuse to apologize for…

  • being modest or classy (in behavior and my wardrobe)
  • preferring high-quality, expensive things
  • loving sports bar-type hangouts over clubbing at night
  • not being a girly girl
  • believing in stuff (God, faith, hope, love)
  • not having a celebrity crush
  • drinking tap water
  • being a designer
  • exercising at night (which limits weeknight hangouts)


29 Aug

Things that I am constantly need more of:

  • Home. A sense of love and belonging. A feeling of security and comfort.
  • Friends. People who stick by me, respect me, trust me, laugh with me. People who push me to grow.
  • Fun. Making memories, laughing til I can’t breathe, being silly, being surrounded by people.
  • Support and encouragement. Reassurance.

Things that can describe the ugliness of my heart:

  • Selfish. Wanting the best, wanting control, wanting what I think is best for me.
  • Jealous. A pit of doom; I can get stuck in it and not know my way out.
  • Proud. Not humbling myself, refusing to treat others as equal.

Please pray for me.


13 Dec

  1. Children’s books are underrated.
  2. Not enough people remember the Berenstain Bears series

There were many Berenstain Bears books but The Berenstain Bears and the Big Road Race always sits clearest in my mind. Following the same storyline as The Tortoise and the Hare, brother bear drives a beat up red car in a road race. While all the other contestants are driving Mercedes-like box cars, brother bear drives a shoddy little lemon of a car that goes “putt-putt-putt” as it rounds the last bend to the finish line.

Onomatopoeia at it’s finest, this story, not The Tortoise and the Hare, always comes to mind when I am angry at my work.

I’m going to get there one step at a time. Putt-putt-putt.

Protected: needs p.4

31 Oct

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Sonnet on the Ribs of Laughter

12 Aug

Those who find the sun in every sorrow
may yet cry thunderstorms when in their hiding.
Not rarely, whoever teaches hope can barely borrow
what it takes to make it through a day’s colliding,
that is why they talk so much of hope. Tomorrow
and today are both a moment in aligning;
joke is that the hawk-heart is a swallow
by night. Who hears the music also hears the sighing.
By night who sees light, by day so sees the harrow,
but never ruled by sun nor star as law abiding,
no, the bilious cloud that knows of sorrow
comes at its whim, as does its twin: the dove arising.
Be kind to us we singers of delight,
we sing because we sigh in day and night.

Jennifer Michael Hecht

(thanks, g)


13 Oct

is a long, long time. it’s hard being only half.

i miss my other half

11 Jul

a lot.

i have little whines building up bc of this beyond frustrating week. its not healthy. how did we do freshman year when we didnt talk at all? oh yeah, that was a train wreck of a year. the best part is having a person to listen, bc i usually don’t want to hear people’s advice. at least i can write letters.

my head really hurts as it does when i wear glasses for extended periods of time. at least i can see.

i’m frustrated with life and the things that don’t work out. at least i have fball and running.

its amazing how halved we are. 22.5 months left.

nightmares suck

29 Jun

i was at school with a bunch of people at an assembly. so we’re sitting on the ground. and the security camera goes on alert near me and scans the area. i was scared b/c i did something wrong and it’d sense my fear. instead it scanned right by me and focused on this big guy who had just pulled his jacket open to reveal a multitude of guns.

as some friends and i were in the narrow lobby, a couple tried to edge out the door unseen saying we had to go now to escape. and at the same time police were on the scene outside but dragging away other people b/c of disorderly conduct. so some friends made it out and one tugged my necklace which grew and he was 20ft away still holding on. and at this point the gunman spies us and assumes that the people going out the door are being taken by the police.

i’m held in fear of moving b/c i think if i do, then the gunman will realize we’re all trying to escape and we’re not just under arrest. and in that case, he’d shoot everyone. so he sneers and asks me, “wanna be arrested? go ahead.” and paralyzed in fear i could only turn my head away and look beggingly from afar at my friends as the gunman shot me in my collarbone. you wouldn’t think that you can feel bullets in dreams,

but they hurt.
a lot.

and the blood oozes out everywhere. and i thought i was going to die.